"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
