Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
