hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
