3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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