Whod you bang
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
