i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
