he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
