yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
