why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
