Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
