no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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