My nipple is on Facebook.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
