My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
