i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
