i just google imaged poop.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize