Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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