Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
