what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
