were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
