So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
