omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize