What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
