If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
