we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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