I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
