yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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