How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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