It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
