Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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