he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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