So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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