it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
