she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
