I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
