I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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