How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
