He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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