Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
