Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
