Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
