He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize