her vagine was all disorganized.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
