if i can run in heels then i can drive
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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