matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Do you still have your period?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
