Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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