she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
