He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
