This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
