my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
