Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
