Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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