everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Everything about him screamed your future.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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