Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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