I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
