so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize