Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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