Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
