I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
