looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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