Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My vagina just clenched in fear
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
