i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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