My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize